I illustrated two versions of essentially the same joke for the last of the Mean 16 cartoons. Both are based on the idea of the Terminator not being exactly thrilled by all the Terminator sequels. In one, he uses the plot device of going back in time to stop the creation of the sequels themselves. The other is a more of a flat out tribute to my favorite cartoonist, Jules Feiffer, and his character the “Dancer” that appeared so many times while his work published in The Village Voice from 1956 to 1997. What can I say, I wish I was Jules Feiffer.
After being taken offline in the spring of 2001, HAL was able to hobble together a new career as a struggling self-help author, were he self-published multiple E-books and pamphlets, building himself a small, but dedicated following. He now spends most of his time writing and traveling to book shows to get the word out about his unique perspective for achieving happiness regardless of a heartbeat.
What started out as a quiet life of making the leather trinkets for the local of Pentecostal preacher quickly turned into donning a mask made out of human skin and murdering pesky teenagers. And so a legend was born. But through it all Leatherface never felt artistically fulfilled, and his inner voice called out to him to be more than a footnote in the annals of maniac serial killers. And with no logical place to turn, Leatherface turned to the one thing place where logic does not exist, the art world.
And it was here, where Leatherface grew from penniless no one with a chainsaw to the art scene’s darling with a chainsaw, lining up commissions along the way faster than the artist could carve a possum from a Texas Blackgum tree.
After killing most of the student body at her high school prom and impaling her mother with kitchenware, Carrie turned her focus to standup comedy, in an effort to mask the pain.
And after years of working open mics nights in drunken dives Carrie moved up to paying comedy gigs. This transition was thanks in large part to her indecipherable delivery, which eventually convinced everyone that she must be a genius, because why else would anyone ever perform the exact same routine for almost 40 years.
The most nauseating of the Xenomorph species is the Xeno-Mom. Characterized by theirs acute ability to drive their offspring and everyone else around them insane with their obnoxious, never ending presence.
The Xeno-Mom is often seen hovering over their young far into adulthood; offering them unwelcome advice about anything and everything at every turn, until their young are finally forced to enroll into the college that will get them as far away from the Xeno-Mom as possible. After which, the process is repeated.
Starting kindergarten as a reanimated corpse has been rough.
Diary of a wimpy Demon
Being the son of Satan is no picnic. Everyone holds me to an impossible standard of being as evil as my Dad. Most times it’s just too much to live up to and I just want to be like everyone else. And then today I learned that my mother was a jackal. So there’s that now too.
In order to keep up with the changing diets of his victims, Candyman changed his name from “Candyman” to “Low-fat dairy whole grains lean protein legumes tofu soy omega-3 fatty acids – Man."
If you can say his new name in the mirror 5 times without passing out he will appear and deliver you coupon for 30% off on an exclusive one on one fitness training session with him when you sign up for an entire year in advance. Certain restrictions may apply.
After leaving the Overlook Hotel, the Grady daughters moved back to London to kick start their music careers, quickly becoming one of Britain’s biggest pop sensation, known later as“The Grady Girls.” With hit singles “Red Red Rum” and “Come Play With Us (Forever),” The Grady Girls’ popularity soared, forcing NME magazine to call the duo “wonderfully terrifying” and their stoic live shows “bloodcurdling dull.”
Villain No.3 Annie Wilkes “Misery”
Following her true passion of helping those in need, Annie garnered a job as the Team physician for the Winnemucca Wild Cats High School Football Team.
Wild Cats Coach, Joe Rippa, was quoted as saying “When we are down, we usually send Annie to the other team’s bench to dole out some of her special brand of physical therapy to help us turn things around.
The Mean 16 - Halloween Countdown
Villain No.2 The Thing “John Carpenter’s The Thing”
Confessions of Interstellar Genocidal Maniac.
A skewed look into the lives of 16 scary movie villains
Over the course of the month of October, I’ll be posting a visual look into the lesser known lives of 16 different scary movie villains. Why am I doing this? I have no idea, except to say it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No.1 or 16 - Samara Morgan “The Ring”
In an effort to turn her life around after her death, Samara decided to use her unique ability to crawl in and out of TV sets for profit.